Monday, May 7, 2007

Big Black Love


This title may come off a little appauling to some folks and I don't balme you! But I can promise you that this statement is far from racist! I am not refering to people fo color at all in this I promise on my mothers life ( and that is serious) This Big Black Lover is in fact my 7 yr old 18. hh Dutch Warmblood/Clydsdale horse named Simon. For those of you out there not knowing the horse lingo that means he is big about 6'4 at the back and could pull a beer wagon.( halloween is going to rock with that) So now that you do not think that I am a racist pig let me fill you in on why I am writing about him ( excuse me in advance if I blubber)

Well you see 2007 has been a rather interesting year for me. And even though I am really happy right now and could not be more pleased with my emotional state of mind, I must look back on the year and think I failed at quite a few things in my life. (to all of you that I have let down I am sorry) Anyway when life seems to bite me in the butt I always can go to my "boyfriend" and he will sit there and let me talk to him. I believe he is the perfect man because. A. He is extremly good looking. B. He is so big he is like my personal bouncer outside my night club of fun, and nobody will dare mess with me. C. He can't talk D. He is trained to stand still and do whatever I want E. The only thing he asks for in return are apples. (the real kind not the dirty kind that all other men ask for.... big sicks!) F. If he gets onmy nerves I just put him away in his stall and do whatever the hell I want with my time. I am sure all the ladies out there are so jealous because I have these traits in my man and they don't....idiots. I also forgot to mention that he has the biggest feet i've ever witnessed in my short years here.(you know what they say about men with big feet.

I do have to say that my favorite thing about him is not physical at all. Simon's best trait is that he will never let me down. He always puts me first and cares about me even when he all instincts are telling him to be a moron. I say jump and Simon literally says "how high?" I mean this is wonderful i have discovered that I never have to put up with dating and stupid boys always letting me down! And i don't have to worry about being treated like a pin cushion because Simon is a gelding which means sex means absolutely nothing to him! All you girls out there keep looking and I am sure you will find a perfect man and you can check off one thing from the Reasons Anne is so much cooler then I am list. But until then I will say the rumors are true about both men with big feet and black men.......... they have huge hearts. (what were you thinking you beastiality big sick!)

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