All right so I fear this is going to turn into an "Anne on her high horse", "grind my gears" blog but I have no choice because this is a matter far more important then any school vouture form you can through at the feet of the justice system! So there I was driving in my car relaxing to a little FM 100 getting my butt heated by my fancy seats, when I decided to change the channel to see what Kosy 106.5 was playing(yes I do listen to old lady stations) and that is when I almost swerved into a semi truck for the atrocity that was coming out of my speakers. Now first of all I have nothing against The Little Drummer Boy, however I have not even made a dent in this years Halloween candy and have even started basting the turkey for Thanksgiving and stores and radio stations are already getting into the Christmas Spirit! This has caused me to wonder what would happen if we were this lax in skipping over other holidays?
New Years- If we skipped straight to Valentines day would any of us remember to change the date on the checks we are writing? On a high note though maybe the men in our lives would actually remember to buy us presents because they had more time to do so...... That's funny.
Valentines- What would happen to our Valentines boxes we make at school so we can find out if jimmy checks yes or no on my "do you have a crush on me?" care bears Valentine card? The high point of this though would be all the Valentine less people of the world wouldn't have to wallow in self pity and pop Prozac when they realize another years has come and gone without finding their eternal companion.
St. Patricks day- I honestly can't think of anything witty to say about skipping this one. A. I don't enjoy being pinched all day and B. I really don't like the color green to bad it looks fantastic on me (as do most colors)
Easter- This one is easy. Jesus would be offended and when he's offended bad things happen. Maybe if we skipped it he would get angry and burn Provo to the ground? If only I could be so lucky!
June 27- Hello it's my birthday which is the best holiday of the whole freaking year because it celebrates yours truly I don't think I have to worry because I am loved by all that's just crazy talk thinking someone would forget me.
Fourth of July- Wyoming might go bankrupt because without us Utahans going up to purchase illegal fireworks the states number one industry would go under. Wait what is so important about Wyoming anyway?
Halloween- If we skip Halloween kids will lose their imaginations and then Christmas will die because no one will believe in Santa anymore.
If you are retarded and only care about Christmas then fine go ahead and play your stupid Christmas music all year round but remember Jesus wont be happy about it.
