Boys Please!

So not to toot my own horn but BEEP BEEP! Before I dive into the subject of this blog I must say that you are reading the blog of Employee of the Month at PB&L law firm. You should feel special for reading the blog of the recipient of a special P1 parking spot, fifty dollars cash, free lunch, and my personal favorite, an awesome employee of the month plaque that will hang at my desk no matter how successful I get. Even though I already have these great prizes for my brown nosing skills I would still love to hear a congratulations or more from anyone who calls themselves my friend.

So now onto the actual blog. You will all think I am totally bragging about my life but hey everyone deserves to brag everyonce in awhile. My bragging right of the week is that I just bought a new car! Before I tell you about my "Schven" as I call him I must start out by saying that I am not a lesbian. I am in fact straight as an arrow. I say this because my new car is a Subaru OutBack, which I have learned is the Lesbian car of America after some tennis player came out of the closet and the only sponsor that remained true to her was Subaru, causing all the lesbians of the world to go out and buy outbacks to support their gay rights. I have absolutely nothing against the homosexuals of the world in fact most of my best friends are gay men and I like to think that I am in fact a gay man in a woman's body. However my concern now is how on earth I am going to land a date if those I come in contact with judge me by my car and start trying to hook me up with their great independent lady friends! So those of you reading this blog please start to inform the world of my sexual status and let them know that I love my car no matter how it makes me look I think it is great and I chose it for a reason! Besides I find Subies to be very cute reliable little cars, not so much butch.

So now I will tell you about "Schven". He is a 2000 white Subaru outback 5 speed, with two sun roofs, six cd changer, heated leather seats, and all wheel drive. I named him "Schven" because he seems like an outdoorsy Icelandic man to me. My last car was a red sports car but had lots of miles so I named her Blanche in honor fo Blanche from the Golden Girls, and before Blanche I had a 4-runner named Mcswiggen, I don't really know how he received that name. "Schven" and I are going to doing such things as ice fishing and rock climbing together just because I feel as if I woe it to him for beings such a good little Japanese import.